Bernard Pollard, a man who relentlessly continues to bring pain and suffering to New England sports fans everywhere.

It’s pretty safe to say that Boston has just concluded its best sports decade in its long history. Sure, the 1910s saw four Red Sox world championships and the Celtics won 9 championships in the 60s. But the aughts gave Boston fans six championships split between three franchises, including two borderline dynasties with Patriots and Red Sox and an NBA-leading 17th championship for the revitalized Celtics. We’ll all be lucky to ever witness such widespread success in such a concentrated period of time for the rest of our lifetimes.

Yes, of course it couldn’t last forever. Players get old and injury-prone, coaches leave for greener pastures, the luck of the draft runs out. Professional sports leagues are built for parity and franchises are not supposed to have the prolonged success that the Red Sox and Pats have had over the past 10 years.

These are all legitimate explanations for the recent decline in the performances of our favorite New England sports teams. That doesn’t mean we can’t have a scapegoat.

I give you: Bernard Pollard.

Boston fans have always had players that we love to hate. Bucky “F.” Dent. Bill “Clothesline” Laimbeer. Alex “Lady Purple Lips” Rodriguez. Peyton “Cut That Meat” Manning. Eric “Sir Shoves-A-Lot” Byrnes. Recently, Scott “Sucker Punch” Walker, who went on to score the series-winning overtime goal for Carolina a few days later.

In light of today’s injury to Wes Welker upon trying to avoid contact with Pollard, Bernard is quickly moving himself up this list.

Patriots fans don’t need to be reminded of September 7, 2008, when only 8 minutes into the season, Pollard crashed into Tom Brady’s knee and tore his ACL and MCL, ending Brady’s season. The Pats had high hopes for 2008 campaign, coming off a devastating Super Bowl loss to the Giants in the final minute, dashing their hopes for a perfect 19-0 season and shutting up Mercury Morris once and for all. They were hungry for revenge and the pieces were in place for them to get it. Until Pollard.

The next month, the Red Sox were on a quest to repeat as World Champions, with the Yankees already out of the running. But the Tampa Bay Rays ended their hopes in a dramatic ALCS Game 7. This past season, the Red Sox were easily ousted in the first round by the usual punching bag Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim. But it wasn’t enough for Pollard to dash our current championship dreams. Over the summer, David Ortiz and Manny Ramirez were revealed to be on the list of 104 players that tested positive for performance-enhancing drugs in the 2003 season, causing some people to question the validity of the Red Sox historic 2004 championship. You bastard. Leave that season alone.

Last year in basketball, the Celtics were the favorites to repeat as World Champions and raise an 18th banner to the rafters. That is, until February 19th, when Kevin Garnett mysteriously went down grabbing his right knee after an alley-oop attempt. Garnett would return for four games before shutting down for the rest of the season and causing the Celtics to fall to the Orlando Magic in the playoffs in his absence. And just last week, Paul Pierce woke up in the middle of the night with an excruciating pain in his right knee. He’s out for at least a few weeks. Knee, eh? Strange…

As a result of Pollard’s late hit on Brady, the NFL passed a rule which tightened the restrictions on defensive players coming in contact with quarterbacks. Of course, as we’ve seen, Pollard no longer needs to make contact with a player to cause them anguish.

Wes Welker, the latest victim of the Curse.

And so it went that in the very next meeting between the Patriots and Bernard Pollard following Brady’s injury, 8 minutes into the game, with a promising postseason on the horizon, Welker tore his ACL and MCL anticipating a hit by Pollard, the exact same injury suffered by Brady at the hands of Pollard and at the exact same moment of the game. The injury will end Welker’s season and perhaps the Pats’ playoff hopes once again.

It was black magic. We all knew it was coming. The Pats should have just forfeited the game. Not like we really wanted the #3 seed anyway. And as we all learned from the new Sherlock Holmes movie, the best way to fight black magic is simply to flee from it in terror (pretty sure that was the point of that movie). Pollard finished the game with a fumble recovery touchdown and an interception of Brady, just for good measure.

Will the knees of our beloved Boston stars ever be safe again? No. Not while the Curse of Bernard Pollard lives. Screw that guy.

UPDATE (2012): HE TOOK OUT GRONKOWSKI! THE MOTHERFUCKER TOOK OUT GRONKOWSKI! WILL HIS THIRST FOR BLOOD EVER BE QUENCHED?! WHY AREN’T MORE PEOPLE TALKING ABOUT THIS?!